TOWARD MORE EFFICIENT JOGGING
Whenever I see joggers, I have to wonder how they can find the time to get
all dressed up and run around the neighborhood doing nothing. It seems to
be a luxury activity, like lying on the beach in the summer. In my own life,
there always seem to be a zillion other things that have to get done, such
as laundry, car repair, and paying insurance bills. In fact, since I am
pressed for time so much, I feel like I am wasting time if I am not doing
several things at once. If I have to wait for a phone call, I'll clean the
kitchen while I do it. It's a piece of cake to do two things at once like
that- do laundry and read a book. Visit with a friend and eat a meal. Write
a letter during lunch. Drive and listen to music. Three things at once is
a little tougher- wait for a phone call, do laundry and cook a meal. Fix
your car while getting a tan while waiting for a UPS delivery. You get the
picture. (I've even done four.)
So why don't joggers ever combine their activities and deliver messages
or mail letters or run to the shopping mall for a pillowcase or to the hardware
store for some plate hangers? They never seem to have shopping bags in their
hands, or luggage with them that could hold anything larger than a wallet.
I have actually known people who would go jogging, and then come home, shower,
change clothes and get in their car to mail a letter. They tell me that
they can't handle the distraction, and the running requires their all. What
a waste of expensive calories to just run around in circles, contributing
nothing to the GNP, while burning off Havarti cheese, linguini, croissants,
pesto and other high-on-the-food-chain yuppie food.
What really should be done is to channel this random energy of all these
runners and put it to better use. Maybe a messenger service could pay them
to deliver things, or somebody could set up a computer dispatching system
like the trucking industry has, to route messages and packages and medecine
for the elderly, delivered by jogger couriers. I can see them in their special
uniforms, kind of like the red berets of the Guardian Angels, proudly carrying
out their missions while also working up a good sweat and trashing their
shins, insteps and Achilles tendons. I would like to see each city install
a huge circular treadmill in the park, like the things the hamsters run
around in, that would allow the joggers to get exercise and generate electricity
at the same time. They could run all year round and not worry about weather,
and chances are they could make important business and social contacts with
each other, just like on the golf course. It might be necessary to have
private, higher-class treadmills for executive joggers, maybe as part of
Nautilus or a country club, that would have dress code, and would be for
members only. I bet that all the joggers in a decent sized city could power
the lights for the tennis courts, and possibly pick up a federal grant or
two or a civic award. There might be a way to donate electricity to the
poor, and movie stars could sponsor marathons for charity. Speaking of marathons,
imagine if they harnessed all the electricity lying potentially in those
hordes of marathon runners. Not to mention all the hours and miles of training
they each went through. It's almost a national disgrace for people to be
wasting that much energy frivolously and selfishly.
I once saw a guy (the only practical jogger I ever saw...) who delivered
papers while running. He was great. He had long gray hair, a white T- shirt
and non-trendy gym shorts, (none of those shiny, metallic-blue stretch pants
and designer headbands for him), and one of those canvas newspaper bags
paperboys used to use before they all got cars. He would come roaring through
my neighborhood every afternoon, making money, spreading information, and
getting exercise all at once- (three things, if you count 'em...). I'd bet
anything that people in the neighborhood thought he was nuts.
© 1987 by Harvey Reid
WOODPECKER MULTIMEDIA
5 Fernald Ave York
Maine 03909 USA
phone (207) 363-1886
This web site
concerns the music and life of acoustic musician, writer & music educator Harvey Reid.
If
you don't find what you want, or if you have comments or questions, please email
to
WOODPECKER MULTIMEDIA
5 Fernald Ave York
Maine 03909 USA
phone (207) 363-1886
This web site
concerns the music and life of acoustic musician, writer & music educator Harvey Reid.
If
you don't find what you want, or if you have comments or questions, please email
to
WOODPECKER MULTIMEDIA
5 Fernald Ave York
Maine 03909 USA
phone (207) 363-1886
This web site
concerns the music and life of acoustic musician, writer & music educator Harvey Reid.
If
you don't find what you want, or if you have comments or questions, please email
to
